Christmas Bells

Christmas Bells
Christmas Bells - Blandfordia nobilis

Sunday, February 06, 2011

Stairway to Heaven is a left-handed spiral.

If there is a God, who designs the beautiful details of nature, then he is sinister creator.

"What's that?"

Spiranthes australis - a gorgeous jewel of an Orchid
Well, one of his most exquisite "creations" must surely be this little pink jewel of a flower - the "Ladies Tresses Orchid", Spiranthes australis.

But look at it in detail.
Spiranthes australis - has a left-handed twist

It might be a spiral "stairway to heaven", but it has a reverse twist - it ascends in an anti-clockwise direction. God must have been a left-hander.

Therefore, if he exists, he is, by definition, sinister.

A full stem of Spiranthes australis
Surely this is proof that God is a sinister being?

I contend that this obvious fact is suppressed, 
in a "Conspiracy of Silence",
as a result of collusion between 

Footnotes to my outrageous syllogism.

A. "Stairway to Heaven": "Viewed literally, the stairway to heaven reference would seem to suggest a Biblical allusion to an actual ladder ascending to heaven. It is, after all, an often-used theme in literature and song,"
Jimmy Plant's song lyrics have been subject to much interpretation, but few will have been as outrageous as the foregoing syllogism.
B. "Sinister": "In the Middle Ages it was believed that when a person was writing with their left hand they were possessed by the Devil. (This was uncommon, particularly as there were fewer literate people). Left-handed people were therefore considered to be evil.
  1. Threatening or portending evil, harm, or trouble; ominous: a sinister remark"
C. God. "God is most often conceived of as the supernatural creator and overseer of the universe."
D. Conspiracy of silence  "The expression conspiracy of silence, or culture of silence, relates to a condition or matter which is known to exist, but by tacit communal unspoken consensus is not talked about or acknowledged. Commonly such matters are considered culturally shameful."
E. Botanical silence. The Botanical authorities, make no reference to the anti-clockwise direction of the spiral of this plant genus. It is called "Spiranthes". Perhaps it ought have been called "Antihelicia" or "sinistrahelicia"?

E: Tongue-in-cheek:  "The ironic usage (of that term) originates with the idea of suppressed mirth — biting one's tongue to prevent an outburst of laughter."


Tyto Tony said...

'Lefties rule, Tony said gauchely.

Denis Wilson said...

Lefties are always welcome on my Blog, Tony.
The Blog has been strangely silent, today.
Many of my readers might be offended, or sick of the old Shakespearean sinistral jokes.
I had thought some of my anti-Creationist friends might climb on board, but not so.
In another classic reference, "FEITCTAJ Forget 'em If They Can't Take A Joke (polite).

Anonymous said...

all intelligence stems from the regular use of the left hand.

Signed yet another left-hander, Kirsten

Anonymous said...

xxx ;o)

Denis Wilson said...

Thanks for that insight.
Interesting stuff.